honey bunches of taint.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
