Yo dont text me then not text me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
