im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
