Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
