Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
