these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
