Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
