slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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