a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the high leading the old right now
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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