I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
is it fun? or sober?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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