this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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