meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
