a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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