he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
