I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
