It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
