I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We have started to decorate penises.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
