Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
