So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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