you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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