He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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