i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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