...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
