Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
