Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
