I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it glows. i had to have it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
