Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
