Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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