where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
