Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
