You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
