He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
