found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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