Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
