The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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