You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
