Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
