nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Found the puke drawer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
