It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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