Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
