this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
