I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
