oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
