so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was CRYING into my vagina
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
