i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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