Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
