I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Bring me that man meat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
