youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
