I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
