I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
